So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
