His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
