Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
