I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
