it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
now i know why i became what i already was.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
