do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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