this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
