I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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