I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize