How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
