Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We're too hungover to prance.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
