My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
