There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wish there were birth control emojis
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
