How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
