haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize