bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
