Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
