I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
