worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
