I want to stick my p in your. b.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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