Non-Jews are for practice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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