I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize