So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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