Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
