what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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