I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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