Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize