I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
