Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
40s are totally the cure
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
