my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
