i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
