he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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