No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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