I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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