Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize