8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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