Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
