I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
last night I used snow as a chaser
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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