i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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