at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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