I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
