...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
