He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
