i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
