Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
