We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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