Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize