I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
worst night to have a conscience
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
