I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Im part way to drunk.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
