Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drake has all the answers
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
