pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
