Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
