We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
