drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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