dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
