Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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