i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
