your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
