it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
