All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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