I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
