you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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