nut hugger
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
