we're blogging at a bar
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i wish my penis had a tongue
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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