My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
